Whenever I see another driver do something illegal or just plain stupid, I fantasize for that moment that I’m a cop. I want to pull that violator over, write a ticket, and give him or her a piece of my mind.
But I’m just a PR guy. So the next time I’m at a light waiting in the left-hand turn lane, and the guy in the Jeep passes the waiting cars and cuts me off to make his left from the right lane, I’m ready with a press release. Its headline reads, “ILLEGAL LEFT TURNS LEAD TO INCREASE IN SUV ROLLOVERS.” When I’m stuck behind the young woman in the Camry doing 42 in the middle lane of the L.I.E. with no one in front of her, and I see her texting when I finally pass her, I’m ready with my PSA graphically depicting horrible accidents resulting from distracted driving. When I’m braking for a light and the guy in the Lexus behind me blows past me to go through it, I’m armed with a media advisory announcing the perp walk at which that guy will be moved from precinct to prison cell. And when I witness every fourth car in the rush hour HOV lane with no passenger, I whip out a fact sheet that shows the large percentage of drivers who pay huge increases in insurance premiums after they’re ticketed.
No, a PR guy can’t stop the countless drivers who believe that their time is soooo important that they can ignore the law and put everyone at risk. But a good PR campaign might raise some awareness and put pressure on those inconsiderate scofflaws. I’m ready. Let’s do it. And if I can’t get the funding for it, watch out for me. I’ll be the one doing 77, all alone in the HOV lane, with my Droid in one hand, coffee in the other, and my left signal perpetually blinking. Your thoughts?