Re-Posting for loveRs

      60 Comments on Re-Posting for loveRs

Readers: A favorite blog post of my students was titled “PR is for lovers” which was written for Valentine’s Day two years ago. I’ve updated it slightly and am re-posting it. Enjoy!

“When a person brings flowers to a date, that’s good public relations.”

Love PRAs we attempt to define public relations, we can agree on the premise that PR seeks to accomplish one of three responses: to create attitudes, to reinforce attitudes, and to change attitudes. And a comparison to dating and relationships works well.

For example, consider online dating. Two people create profiles–comparatively what PR practitioners call backgrounders–to describe their history and current personal and professional status. When one spots a potential match they contact the other, usually with a clever, enticing online note–in effect, a pitch letter. If the “pitch” works, a first meeting will take place at a mutually selected venue. One of the first get-togethers will involve event planning for which schedules are coordinated, clothing is selected, and grooming is completed so the presentation (date) goes exceptionally well. As the relationship takes root, networking begins, first with friends and then with family. All of these actions are designed to create positive attitudes among the couple’s various publics.

The following weeks and months contain acts of caring and kindness, sharing of new experiences, and a calculated effort to compromise. This, much like PR, is done to reinforce positive attitudes.

Eventually a crisis may occur. Someone says or does something they shouldn’t have, and now an all-out effort is made to change negative attitudes. This again may include flowers plus a significant number of “I’m sorrys.” Various crisis management tools must be employed if there’s any chance of success. After the crisis, good behaviors must be sustained because, as I tell my students, good PR is more than clever words or window dressing. Maintaining positive attitudes from your audience must be supported by consistent performance.

So as Valentine’s Day approaches, remember that when your date brings you flowers, that’s good PR. And if your date brings flowers for your mother, that’s outstanding PR! Your thoughts?

60 thoughts on “Re-Posting for loveRs

  1. alexandra

    I think this was a very interesting comparison between dating and PR. When dating, it is important to present yourself in the best way that you can, and I liked how you brought up the point of bringing the mother flowers as well. That is presenting yourself in the best possible way. I liked this connection because I couldn’t agree more with the dating aspect.

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  2. robinperkins1

    I am a PR student and this is a great comparison that you used with PR and dating. I never thought of it of it like that but it does make a lot of sense. With both PR and dating you have to present yourself very well if you want to make a good impression.

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  3. s5n1el

    Very interesting article! I found myself laughing a little bit, as I have done just that more than a few times! Very good pairing with the “big day” coming up! The one thing that you didn’t touch on though was the use of flowers to just brighten the day. You don’t necessarily have to have done something wrong to reinforce positive PR.

    -Tim Hatcher

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  4. Victoria Kotowski

    I tried to post this three times before class and I don’t see my comment anywhere so hopefully this one goes through…

    I really enjoyed this article. I found that I got a lot out of it because dating is something I have been experiencing for a while now, so I enjoyed seeing how it connected to PR. It’s also very fitting, because my cousin just got engaged to a guy she met online!

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  5. Taylor Lawrence

    I definitely agree with your last statement. From personal experience, my boyfriend has brought my mother flowers on Mother’s Day, and it did not only flatter her, I also thought it was sweet as well. With this effort, my mom automatically liked him more, whether she wanted to or not, and he gained a few points in my dad’s book too, for showing respect.

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  6. Olivia Hayum

    Someone could use this as either using PR as a metaphor for dating and/or dating for PR. It’s pretty interesting and a great point. It makes me wonder what other social aspects if our lives are applicable to PR.

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  7. Katherine Hammer

    I really like the comparison between PR and online dating. When it comes to dating, there is a lot of effort that needs to be put in place, just like in PR. You have to “woo” your significant other, just like you have to “woo” your audience in PR, and on a consistent basis. Compared to one another, both have to keep in mind that they must brand themselves, as well as factor in crisis’ that may occur. I never would have thought that dating and PR could be compared, but looking at it now there are many similarities.

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  8. Abby Drapeau

    I loved the way you compared pr to online dating. In some way it reminded me of something you would read in PR for Dummies because you made it easy to understand what pr is really like. Referring to flowers as good pr reminds me of the book The Power of Being Nice by Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval because sometimes it’s the smallest thing, like flowers or the friendly security guard outside your building, that wins you the client.

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  9. Marc Carganilla

    I find the connection between valentines day and PR to be quite intriguing. From a perspective of a lover we can see them doing what a PR person would normally do for a lint except for themselves the whole notion of “branding” oneself for love. For our autonomy of love and relationships when you think about it the word “relation” in “public relation” is part of the word “relationship”.

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  10. williamekanem

    The flower is indeed good PR because it is the message, a non-verbal one that signifies love. Like good content, or (let us continue with flower/message) does in PR, it comes with trust. Trust builds credibility and helps to maintain mutual and beneficial relationship between the giver and the receiver.
    It’s really a good analogy; the Valentine flower and PR messaging. This Valentine, let your flower/message say something motivational.

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  11. kenpow2012

    This was a very interesting comparison between Public Relations and Online Dating. I feel this article helps me understand some of the methods of PR I may have used already in my life. This article could help simplifying Public relations to someone who may not understand the jobs of PR

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  12. Jennifer Im

    Last semester, I had a research project on online dating and I incorporated a similar metaphor comparing online dating to both a job search and LinkedIn. Since PR is fundamentally about forging positive relationships, it shows up in several aspects of our daily lives. But when we’re focused on the bottom line or on academics, it’s easy to forget that.

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  13. Karisa Newkirk

    I think that I can speak for most people when I say never thought of comparing PR with dating, so clever! If a person had trouble understanding what PR is, this is a great way to explain it to them. This really highlights the process of PR as well as a relationship.

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  14. Michele Colletti

    I found this article really interesting and fun to read! I am learning more everyday just how much public relations is used in our daily lives. Comparing PR to relationships is something I would of never thought of and I find it completely true. It makes you wonder about all the other areas in your life that you may be using and practicing PR and you never realized it before. Great post!

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  15. Grace Finlayson

    I love your comparison of PR to dating. Coming home from a great date makes a person feel good about themselves and getting a text back the next day lets them know that they were successful. This is what public relations is all about. Putting the best image out there and getting positive feedback is the ultimate goal.

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  16. Cass Lang

    I love this parallel and how you’re reassuring the reality of PR and how important and necessary it is in our daily lives. It also makes me think that as a prospective PR person, that maybe I should be a little better at relationships. Maybe thinking about it from this perspective will help?

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  17. David Pepe

    I agree that there is a significant relationship between PR and Valentines Day. In thinking about this relationship it made me realize how many PR skills are just used in everyday life in meeting people. Constantly in PR we are trying to connect with a certain audience in the right way which, is very similar to meeting a new person just on a much smaller scale. In meeting this person you are doing research and gaining background information by asking questions and interviewing to better converse and connect with them. It’s very interesting how the same skills we learn in PR help us in our everyday lives as much as they do in PR.

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  18. Vanessa Felder

    This comparison was very interesting and fun to read. It made me think of chapter one in Public Relations Writing and Media Techniques, where Tip for Success mentioned how dating advice can make you a better writer. I honestly never thought of dating as PR before, but now having read this blog, I can see how similar it is.

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  19. Vanessa Felder

    This comparison was very interesting and fun to read. It made me think of chapter one in Public Relations Writing and Media Techniques, where Tip for Success mentioned how dating advice can make you a better writer. I honestly never thought of dating as PR before, but now having read this blog, I can see how similar it is.

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  20. Mike Cox

    I love the comparison between PR and valentines day! It’s fun to look at all the many ways you can compare PR to things we do in our everyday lives. In a world where ones reputation means so much i see now why PR is so important for everyone.

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  21. Priyanka Singh

    So many of my colleagues here have brought up how PR involves making a LASTING first impression and I think that’s why this post resonates so well with all of us! When I interned for CupidsPulse.com, which s a celebrity-relationship website, I used to conduct interviews with authors writing about relationships and they always made a point to say that successful relationships revolve around open two-way communication. In PR, we as professionals always strive to keep that gateway of communication flowing, because everything we do in life is based off of how well we can translate our messages to one another, and also how well we can decipher and respond to each other’s messages as well.

    I think my favorite part of this post had to do with the discussion around online dating and the parallels between the pitching process and the event planning. It just eludes to a bigger message on how important this field is and everything we do traces back to the fundamentals of PR.

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  22. Marissa L. Slattery

    You never get a second chance to make a first impression! People are essentially their own brand and should always strive to let their truest form of self shine. It’s been eight years since my last “first date,” but I can vividly recall my parents putting a mental check in the approval column when my now husband came to the door, shook their hands and introduced himself to them with his full name and continued to have a short conversation with them. While it’s extremely important to make a good impression in person, it is equally important to have a virtual presence paralleling what you are portraying face-to-face. If you are trying to bill yourself as a successful professional who enjoys long walks on the beach and quiet nights in watching movies, then you should make certain that your social media pages aren’t plastered with images of you out on the town with your good friend Jack Daniels. Consistency and transparency are key!

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  23. nnicoleg1984

    Your comparison is a perfect example of one of the many ways effective PR can transcend professional barriers and serve to create and/or reinforce our personal relationships.

    On the other hand, due to the competitive nature of PR, though “bringing roses for your date” may result in a positive first impression, when your date “brings your mother roses”, this sets you apart from others; the fundamental PR objective.

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  24. Kimberly Minto

    The more I learn about public relations, the more I see the connections to everyday life. Valentine’s Day is just one example of practicing good PR when we don’t even realize it. Our behavior, our clothing, and the gifts we bring are all a part of good PR, but we think of it is a first impression or continued networking. A date bringing flowers and gifts for the parents is great practice for good manners and whether we want to admit or not, it’s good if not great PR. Taking the time to think about Pr’s impact on our lives, we realize that it happens every day with every contact we make/have with someone. PR’s is a happy necessity in our lives.

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  25. Andrew Manning

    What I think some people forget about fields like PR and Marketing – when you’re not always face to face with your target audiences – is that your audiences are made up of people, not numbers. This is a fun comparison, and it reminds us that every time we reach out, it is for a human-connection. I care less about the sheer number of comments on a post than the quality of the responses. We don’t have set metrics for our personal lives (I must spend x amount of hours with this person to get the response I want), and just because certain aspects of PR are measurable, we should focus on what people are actually saying and feeling – the human side of what we’re doing.

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  26. afairc1

    After reading this post I realized just how often basic pr skills are used in everyday life. Simple situations that involve human interaction require you to create and maintain certain attitudes to keep up that specific human relationship, whether it be a platonic, romantic, or business related relationship.

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  27. Elana

    We live in corporate America, of course we have to commercialize holidays such as Christmas, Easter, Halloween and Valentines day. I really loved how this article compared public relations to dating websites and relationships. When you first meet someone, you want to represent yourself well; online profiles and dating websites exemplify that. For instance, if a girl was interesting in dating a guy, with todays technological advancements, she would probably check his Facebook first to make sure he meets her standards.

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  28. elizah9

    I think this blog is very interesting because you took something so ordinary like two people dating and turned it into a master public relations plan. I always knew that pubic relations was a career that can easily be applied to people’s everyday live, but never quite knew how until reading this post. I also found it interesting how people subconsciously do their own PR. For instance, the way someone dresses or styles their hair in a clear indication of how they want to brand themselves to the public.

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  29. Cheyenne Padgett

    I love this analogy! I never realized it but it’s so true. The part about keeping up with the positive PR is very important in a relationship because if you only try in the beginning then your significant other will begin to think that was fake and not the real you. It has to be a constant.

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  30. keyanamichelle13

    Reading this post made me realize you never recognize how much you use basic pr skills daily. Simple situations like being in a relationship whether it be with a significant other or just a friend require you to create and maintain attitudes to keep the campaign (the relationship) successful.

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  31. Gabrielle Furman

    After reading this post I never realized how much public relations can be compared to everyday life. Every new day that begins there is a chance to make a new impression and build relationships with different people. Even on the first day of the new semester, most students want to look nice and make good impressions with their professors. This makes me stop and think about what I am doing that involves public relations.

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  32. Tamara Russo

    Relating PR to dating is something that only PR professionals would conjure up; of course we did not think of that first! In any situation where you’re meeting someone for the first time, or branding yourself online can be taken as a form of PR.

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  33. Dan Schaefer

    This comparison shows that PR is based around actions that appeal to our values as a society. We want others to care about us and our feelings. We want to be treated special. When something goes wrong, we want someone else to take the steps to make it right. PR is doing exactly that, but on a much bigger scale. This post provides great insight into the roots and core values of PR.

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  34. Jen O'Malley

    This is a great way to think about public relations. Essentially everyone has a set of “PR” skills that they use in their day to day lives when it comes to situations such as making a first impression or apologizing for mistakes. When dating online, you have an audience to appeal to and you craft your image, or dating profile, based on what you think will make you likeable to that audience. Once you have the attention of your audience you have to work for their ongoing support, sometimes even going above and beyond to please your public, or date. This article is a clever way to explain the practice of PR using a relatable and simple example. I can see why it is a favorite among your students!

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  35. Jess Hershman

    I think that the comparison between PR and dating shows that everyone informally uses the practices associated with public relations in their everyday lives. It is interesting to see how dating can mirror aspects of the duties attributed to public relations practitioners.

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  36. Jazmin Quinci

    The comparison between public relations and dating is really smart. I never would have connected them. Yes, come to think of it, the more I take it in, getting the attention of a potential mate sounds exactly like the rules for getting the attention of a journalist. Thinking about dating in that light really saps the romanticism out of it. lol. We do consider the pitches made by potential mates; we consider their goals, ask about their strategies and tactics. We weight their bottom lines (e.g. marriage or kids). We even do a survey, asking our friends and families what they think. While considering the long-term, we even do a basic ROI.

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  37. Christina Michael

    I really enjoyed this article! The comparison between PR and an online dating profile seemed accurate because in both you are trying to put your best foot forward but also add an interesting element so people will want to communicate with you. This article is very appropriate for Valentine’s Day; especially the last line saying that bringing flowers for your date and their mother is excellent PR because it is a sweet and respectful gesture!

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  38. Villi Geow

    I am a firm believer that first impressions are crucial. Having the right attitude in maintaining a positive reflection of a person can go a long way in ensuring a healthy and successful relationship. This is similar to society’s expectations and how decision-making is based upon a current perception and emotion about a subject. Thank you for the interesting article.

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  39. Rachel Massaro

    I really enjoyed this article. It just goes to show how many elements of PR are relevant in every day situations not just your career. In both your career and dating or even just presenting yourself in front of anyone new for the first time you should carry yourself in the best way possible.

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  40. gluisi

    This comparison really opened my eyes to see that the world of PR is not just confined to the realm of communications, but it is also used in our everyday lives. If you think about, everyday that we wake up and get ready, we are creating a PR campaign because we are trying to look as good as we can for the day. We want everyone to think and look at us a certain way. Great post!

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  41. Nicholas Mazzarella

    Professor Morosoff:

    I really enjoyed how you showed that public relations strategies extend beyond the world of PR and into an area like dating. Someone who is in a relationship must maintain goodwill with his or her significant other (as well as, like you said, the couple’s various publics), and maintaining goodwill is a notion that is emphasized in PR. I like how you touched on all three responses – creating attitudes, reinforcing attitudes, and changing attitudes – and provided dating-related examples for each one.

    -Nick Mazzarella

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  42. jennarisms

    I really enjoyed this comparison between dating and PR. If you truly stop and think about it online dating is all about putting your presenting self forward just like in communications. I thought this was a great read especially with Valentines Day being at the end of the week.

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  43. Becca Costa

    I can certainly say that I have never thought of dating and relationships as a form of public relations! I guess PR can apply to a lot in our lives; how many problems do we deal with daily? How many times do we pitch ourselves to our friends when we have a new idea? I guess it’s good to know that even when I am not thinking PR, I am using PR and constantly practicing.

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  44. Shavone Williams

    This a great way to look at how important it is to build and maintain relationships in the wonderful world of PR. I like how you compared public relations to online dating because it is very similar. Establishing connections for your client or company is the key to a success.

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  45. Taylla Smith

    I thought this post was extremely clever and accurate. Though relationships can be more complex, this simple interaction that would occur with PR practitioners would also accurate between two people that are attracted to each other. If you think about it, it is all based on attraction between people. Some attraction being romantic and other attraction being professional; but all in all the attraction between people who want to work together to form some kind of relationship has to go through those PR steps.

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  46. Heather Lanci

    I agree with what you’re saying here that online dating is very similar to PR. When comparing them like this, you could say maintaining any relationship with people in life requires a certain amount of PR skills. People do certain things without even realizing, like when making a new friend, they try to create a favorable image for themselves, so that the other person will be interested in getting to know them.

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  47. Nicole Romeo

    I thought that this blog post was actually very interesting. I personally never thought that a dating site could be related to the world of P.R. That fact that personal profiles are a way for people to market themselves so others will be interested in them never crossed my mind prior to reading this blog post. This differently made me look at dating sites in a different light now.

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  48. Ashley Fazio

    I had never thought of comparing dating to PR, but after reading this it is clear that they are very similar. It is funny how all the little things that we do to prepare for a date are things we would do in the PR world. In PR you always have to put your best foot forward because in a sense you are selling yourself. Going into a date you want to not only look appealing, but also you want the person you are seeing to like your personality. With Valentines Day approaching now it the time to “sell yourself”. Everyone wants to have a special valentines day and with that comes impressing your valentine with a great date. This post could not have been more true, and is appropriate because of the approaching holiday.

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  49. Daylen Orlick

    I think it’s absolutely incredible how PR can relate to something so simplistic as Valentines Day. I guess I can learn a lot from past relationships, especially in the PR world. Earning someones respect and heart, and being able to manage the differences you share is incredibly important. This was probably the best post I have seen since starting to read this blog.

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  50. Paulina Zaferiou

    This was such a clever comparison! I’ve never thought about PR in terms of dating, but then again, when would I have? The way you laid out each major aspect of PR and how it relates to dating makes so much sense. Dating is constantly about presenting yourself in the best light possible, and so is PR. This was a great post to read since Valentine’s Day is so soon!

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  51. Ariana Queenan

    It continue to amazes me how PR can compare and relate to almost any situation that involves any degree of human interaction. Almost everyone has some type of profile, whether it be a Facebook profile or LinkedIn profile, where they are describing their life in a relaxed or professional manner. I never took the time to think about the fact that I am always practicing some form of PR, by always trying to put my best foot forward either in person or online.

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  52. Rachel Tyler

    I love this article! It is so clever. I would have never compared PR and dating. I enjoyed how PR was compared to online dating. Those who are signed up for online dating are looking for their perfect match. In the PR world we all play close attention to our LinkedIn accounts to find our perfect match whether it be for an internship or possible job. On both of these sites a person in working on their reputation, which is a huge part of PR. I sometimes think it is funny how PR falls into every aspect of life even those where I think it is least likely.

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  53. carsoncuevas

    I love the comparison of PR to relationships. I think ultimately, it makes me realize that PR is very much a process and one that takes constant nurturing to be successful in. Relationships take time. Whether we look at dating relationships or client to PR professional relationships, the fact of the matter is, is that both kinds take work and require dedication from all of those involved.

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  54. Deana Meccariello

    This gave me a laugh. I have a friend that makes a living writing peoples dating profiles to help them garner more interest. I never thought of her as a PR person until right now.

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  55. Maria Emlano

    I think it’s clever how online dating has so many comparisons to PR. In that sense, an online dating profile can be very similar to a LinkedIn profile. I never would have thought that positive gestures in relationships are considered PR, but it definitely makes sense when the ultimate goal is to build and sustain positive relationships.

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  56. Sarah Holzberg

    This is a great comparison for PR. In todays world more people are online dating then ever before, even your Facebook page is a pitch to the rest of the world. It is our personal online pitch!

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  57. Emily Walsh

    I love this comparison between PR and relationships. Relationships take a lot of work, as does PR. Especially in aspects of networking, attitudes, and crisis management the two really go hand in hand. They both include the word “relation,” so they share some of the same qualities. This post was really clever especially in light of Valentine’s Day coming up very soon!

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  58. jheiden1

    I think it’s very interesting to couple PR with Valentines Day. It really goes back to the whole “brand yourself” conversation. In PR and in dating, it is essential to present yourself in the best possible way. Especially with the holiday rolling around next week, this is a very interesting and appropriate post.

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